Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
