What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i out mim tonsoeep
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