her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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