soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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