i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We named our party play list daddy issues
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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