So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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