I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
