So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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