As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
