I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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