But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
