Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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