i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just tell him i said nine months
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
