What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well you can't waste a boner
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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