So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
