things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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