Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
