Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
