I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
