ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
