Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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