Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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