suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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