Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
