I want to make a zoo with you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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