Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
