Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
