Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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