Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
