Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
