He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
