I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
