Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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