So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
