WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
