Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
