Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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