Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
