OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
