if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
