i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
