just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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