i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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