so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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