Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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