Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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