he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
