STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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