i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
