Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
