In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
