i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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