I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
