My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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